Technically, it is Spring here in the northwest but it certainly does not look or feel like Spring. Since February 1st, we have had only two days above 55 degrees making this the coolest start to Spring on record. And, it is taking a toll on me. This has been the hardest winter/spring for me since moving out west from sunny, warm Florida almost 13 years ago. I would never think that the weather would have such an effect on me emotionally or psychologically because it really hasn't before all these years but I am not happy girl.
Overall, I am happy with all the "big stuff" and of course grateful for all I have and everyone in my life whom I love and love me but I guess I'm just a bit out of sorts... This may seem trivial or petty even but I've hit my limit with the all the grey and gloom. For some reason waking up to the same chilly, rainy, windy, weather day in and day out is totally depressing me...and, I guess I'm a little run-down when it comes to the normal stresses of life, kids, husband, work, etc... so that isn't helping. These days, however, it's taking me 3-4 cups of coffee in the morning just to get to a point of being able to function, regardless of whether or not I've had a good night sleep or have been up with one of the boys multiple times throughout the night. That's not normal for me. I am a morning person. I've never had to use an alarm clock, ever. Not in high school not in college when I had an 8 a.m. class or as an adult. I'm the one waking my hubby up for school usually with a chipper tone, not these days. I have a feeling if I wasn't waking up every morning to the same doom and gloom, chilly weather my whole outlook on the day ahead would be much different.
We have had glimpses of semi-sunny, warmer weather but not often and definitely not consistent. I have been somewhat lucky that those days have fallen on my Wednesdays at home with Colby and Chase a few times and so we've been able to spend time outside. Like today, I had a great day with the boys. We had our whole day planned with activities and a fun, Easter painting project that Chase loved, Colby wasn't too interested but had fun crawling all over. And, just as we were finishing up our Easter eggs, low and behold the sun made an appearance though it was still not overly warm but we were able to have lunch and play for a couple hours outside before the clouds rolled in... I find it so sad that a partly cloudy day with the high in the mid-50s is my "sunny, spring day!" I am so tired of wearing my down coat, rain coat, sweaters, clogs and jeans/cords and scarves.
I'm afraid Scott has taken the brunt of my unhappy demeanor these days and has suggested without judgement and in his sweet wanting to help me way, "why not go tanning or get a UV lamp from some light therapy"... well, I am not going tanning, although the thought of being really warm and getting healthy, tan glow is appealing, I'd rather go the self-tanner route although that is probably just as unhealthy for you with all the chemicals as tanning. The light is a possibility but I'm not sure... I guess I'm ready and willing to try anything that will help me get in a better mood.
Regardless of the weather, I've been in sort of a Spring Fever frenzy of sorts with cleaning and organizing. First on the list was my desk/office space. Since my boss and co-workers were on the verge of voting me off the island, it was time to tackle the mess and accumulation of 7+ years of "stuff." I've also been on the warpath at home and have started closet clean-ups all over the house, my closet, the boys closet's (getting Chase's old clothes ready for Colby -- he's already wearing 12 monthers!) and tackling the loft/playroom/craft space. We also cleaned the loft closet which is a really great space or nook for the boys. It's one of those attic closets with a slanted ceiling, with enough space for about 4-5 people, mainly kids. My vision for the closet was that the boys could have a quiet, space to retreat to that was fun, sort of hidden, where they could read, play, or just relax and think. I call it the "reading room" and Chase refers to it as his "hiding room." I'd really love to paint a mural of an outdoor landscape or scene, starry night or blue skies, trees, flowers, etc...
So, I guess I'm trying to distract myself and keep busy despite this "funk" I am in or Spring fever.... maybe it's not just the weather but I think one really warm, sunny beautiful day would do me wonders.... I'm holding on and in the meantime, I'm going to get outside as much as I can when I can, start that herb garden with Chasers, go get a few highlights to "brighten my look," and finally get that pedicure! :-)
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