Somebody stop me!

It is for certain that times have changed... our social lives now revolve around the web and applications like MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter. Instead of calling each other on the phone or better yet seeing each other in person (what a concept) even emailing and texting seems out of date. We are using very impersonal computer terminals, iPads and iTouches, and Smartphone’s to keep our personal relationships personal... So I beg the question, is this social media technology doing more harm than good? And, how can one possibly keep up with it all?  I'm trying to keep up as it makes sense for me, but I think I may have officially hit my limit with the various web 2.0/social media apps! And, it seems when I choose one application for a specific purpose, it then leads to another and having to set-up yet one more account with a profile picture and description of myself, my life, my interests...somebody stop me!!! 

My first experience with web 2.0 technology was in '06 with MySpace. My motivation to set up the account was simple, I wanted to connect with old friends and share photos online. It did not become a daily habit or even weekly for me, really. I even remember having to remind myself to check it every now then so I could update it with new photos, music and a new "theme" for my page. I think at that point, I was also trying to keep up a Virtual Tourist page tracking all the places I have traveled to...Back then this type of technology was so new that it was not yet tied to our daily routines and vital to how we communicated or kept in the loop on the latest news or trends. After awhile I thought I'd try Facebook because honestly, it seemed simpler and their "friend-finding" capabilities were cutting edge. Facebook also felt like a better "fit" for me and, sad to say, for my "age" group, so I ultimately switched. Soon after came the Totsite webpage for our family when I had Chase, and that was fun to do in the beginning. I could post videos, keep a journal, add photos, create slideshows, choose a theme for the webpage, etc... But after Colby was born that soon become something I felt guilty about because I wasn't updating it enough... there had to be a better way to keep all my "friends" and family in the loop... I then solely began to use Facebook for this, my mom got a FB account, brother/sister, even my dad and now I feel they are really looped in as FB has become a daily habit, even a 5-10x a day habit that I do so I can feel close to them but also be in the loop with friends and what's going on in their worlds... it really is genius if you think about... but at the same time there is this sense that "real" life is happening all around us and we're missing it while we're sitting at our computers reading the latest News Feed or Status Updates. 

Really, I'm not knocking this method of communication/technology, I am actually quite the advocate for it, but I am questioning what it's doing to our lives, our relationships. Personally, as I said before I'm hooked. I live far from my family and these types of technologies make me feel closer, help them "know" me, what my life is like and helps keep them connected to my kids... I'm just a little concerned that it my seem that we are so focused on what our old high school friends are up to and their lives than our own. I know that is a little extreme but often times I really find it a little silly and weird as I get a glimpse of their thoughts and current lives as I scroll through all the status updates and uploaded photos on my blackberry. It seems a little voyeuristic and at the same time surreal, that we're now all connected again almost 20 years later in sort of an intimate and not so intimate way... and at the same time the thought occurs to me, is what you're reading and seeing reality or is it just a facade, the reality that they want you to see? That is probably a whole other blog post in itself, really... sometime is does just feel like high school all over again... :-)  It seems that if this is the case, what a major waste of time! Reading all those stories and updates for it all to just be well, fake and made-up...and what does that do to your psyche? I think there's a Stanford study that just came out about this... But, I too write the stories, post the photos, update my status so I guess the reality I portray on these various types of social media should ultimately be questioned by skeptics like me I suppose... 

So, back to the question at hand...Are we indeed closer with our friends and family because of this technology and all the options we have now to share thoughts, photos, and information about our lives? Or, is it an excuse or maybe even becoming a barrier to really connecting with someone in person genuinely, like meeting for coffee to catch-up, picking up the phone to hear the other person's voice on the line, or maybe even writing a letter or personal note in your own handwriting -- yes, a handwritten note! When was the last time you sent or received one of those, not a holiday card but a note to just say hello, let them know you're thinking of them?

I've got a blog, actually two now that I recently started -- which is obvious considering I'm using one of them to write this -- I debated starting one of these for awhile. I didn't want to get caught up in the whole thing and also it seemed a little narcissistic, but at the same time and at this point in my life it felt that it could be therapeutic and give me a little "me" time that I so often crave these days with two young children...The last few weeks though I've felt that I've been bitten by the social media bug... once I got the blog going which I'm really enjoying, it led to the next thing which was a YouTube account to post videos... Then, I had a friend invite me to set up a LinkedIn account, which I spent most of last night (with Colby asleep on my lap :-) setting up. (I have to say that it is a pretty incredible tool for professional networking...) As I was setting that up it asked for a Twitter account... and even though I actually did have one that I set up to follow my husband's school postings -- he's a principal and often will post breaking news, school closures, or changes for parents -- I never use it. So, as I went back into Twitter to refresh my memory about what it was about, I have 13 people following me, people I don't know and who don't know me which was a little creepy, but I've decided since I'm not really using it or "tweeting" rather I guess that's okay.... but should I be? I love connecting with my faraway family & friends through FB, it's so easy and convenient, most of the time unless you become obsessed :-) The quick status updates take care of those quick little thoughts or updates that you want to get out into the world to your "friend-base"... so what is this Twitter about? All the celebs use it, but clearly I am not a celebrity and who really wants to follow what I have to say, seriously? Am I missing something... as I pondered this question, it now occurred to me that I have a Facebook account, a LinkedIn account, a YouTube account, two blogs, a totsite account/webpage, and now a Twitter account to manage... oh, yeah and that virtual tourist account I haven't logged into for years (probably because I haven't traveled anywhere interesting in years :-)

How in the world can I manage all of these? And, really to be honest, what's the point? Why do I feel as if I have to? Again, you could say I'm a little overwhelmed by all the 2.0 technology and at times I can’t keep it straight, the passwords, the logins, what connects to what and if I post here will it post there...Another thing,  I think my husband is going to kill me if I continue to devote as much time to all of this as I have been the last few weeks.... but how can I resist?  It's fun!!!

Well, in the end I guess it's about balance and not letting yourself get too carried away or take any of it too seriously... finding a good balance might just be the key. So after all this, my plan is to try and do both... I know I can't fully disconnect and honestly, I don't think that is the solution. I do think that there is a place for social media, I think it is incredibly valuable to develop and cultivate personal and professional relationships but again balance is key. I'm going to try to "connect" in a variety of ways not just via my blackberry, a Facebook post, or text message but in person, over coffee or on the phone. By keeping a nice healthy balance of both, I hope to keep my sanity and my husband :-)

The Big Bang Theory

Okay so after my last blog, I thought I would lighten things up a bit... 


For the last 4 months, I've struggled soooo much with whether or not to grow my bangs out. I took the plunge a couple years ago and cut bangs when they started becoming cool/popular again, you know that Katie Holmes look she had a few years ago? So I thought hey, I need a change why not?! Well, I actually really liked my bangs for awhile, I had the cool, long "sweep over to the side" bangs that were cute... but then gradually with each haircut they got shorter, more bangs were cut into my bangs (if that makes any sense) and then right around the time Colby was born, I had this really strange 80s, layered bang look with a blunt bob. Not at all flattering especially when you're about 35lbs overweight and pregnant... Anyway, I was done with that look as soon as Colby was born, I was ready to lose the weight as fast as I could and try to grow these awful, layered, thick bangs out...


 I really was committed to this... Most of my "adult-life" I've had long bangs, they were easy, didn't have to do the trims and struggle with finding the right beautician who can cut my bangs just right... I was completely on board with the whole growing out process... I had the bobby pins/barrettes to pull my bangs out of my face, the headbands, which made me feel like I was ten yrs old, and I was doing it... I would wake-up in the morning get ready and "do" my hair by pinning my bangs out of my face with my headband of choice or barrette and succumb to the fact that my hair and I looked absolutely ridiculous... No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could do it, told myself to just hang in there, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to make it... they weren't even to my nose yet!!! I couldn't even tuck them behind my ears!!! It was awful. How in the world could I do this for 6-9 mos?!!!


I can't remember how I did it after high school. And actually at one point after I moved to Seattle, I cut my hair completely off, layered all over, bangs, the whole nine yards. I mean like Gweneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, the blonde version of her in the movie... And, I was able to withstand growing out that do, so why can't I get through growing out my bangs this time around... lack of patience, having to work in a professional setting, needing a do that is easy and looks good/fashionable/appropriate, etc... 


Anyway, I couldn't do it and I'm not.... the other day I just couldn't take it anymore. I walked into a salon, one that reminded me so much of Dolly Parton's salon in Steel Magnolias, so cool you can still find a beauty salon like that these days with all the Day Spas we have now... Anyway, I sat down, a little nervous, what am I saying?! I was terrified, and "Lottie" cut my bangs right off. The only question she asked me was, "how short?".. she didn't ask me, what style I wanted, did I want the sweep over bangs, did I want to grow just a part of them out or anything at all... She just started cutting and talking about the fact that we might get snow over the next couple days... I was mortified but also relieved... I didn't want to make the decision, I wanted Lottie to just do it, cut these god-awful bangs and get my hair to a place where it looked presentable. I usually freak out about "hair decisions" ... I always tend to want the hairstyle I don't have and couldn't possible have but strive for... I'm the daughter of a hairdresser, so while growing up I had access to haircuts, colors, even perms, yes, perms, whenever I wanted... As I sat in Lottie's chair, the anxiety I was feeling about what was happening soon become relief, the decision was made. I now have bangs and as she swirled me around to look in the mirror, I wasn't in complete horror staring back at my reflection... my bangs looked good. They looked cute, even sort of cool... so I'm okay with the fact that I now have bangs. I am a bang believer, the "bang theory" works for me. :-)


I will, however, continue to grow the rest of my hair out, the short, blunt, bob will not work with my newly found love for my bangs... And, as my grandmother says, a woman can only have long hair through their mid-30s after they hit 40, you have to go short. I'm not sure if I believe that but I don't have much time if that's true. So, I think I can stick it out...Although I have been wearing my hair in ponytails a lot lately....

Gratitude

This is something that we often think more about during the holiday season, mostly around Thanksgiving...but lately it has become a feeling, emotion, or rather a state of being that I have been frequently reminded of through my own challenges and for those friends and family members that are experiencing serious challenges of their own... For me, when I think about my the things in my life that are challenging me, it feels as if there are some fairly minor things going on and some not so minor but rather big or serious but, I guess it's all relative, right... Things can always be worse but they are challenges nonetheless and you have to get through them somehow... and for me, being grateful for all I have is my saving grace. Although for some situations, it takes me a while to get to that place but ultimately, I do and can move on. It may take a little pep talk, a lot of breathing, a cry or two and some chocolate but I get there...

Minutes after Colby was born -- August 14, 2010

I am grateful for being a mom, even if I am outnumbered "three to one" being the only woman in the household has it's benefits as well as challenges, a good balance of both I suppose. :-) Since becoming a mom, I've realized that what "they" say is really true... Being a mom is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life but it is also the most amazing, rewarding experience, too, all at the same time... It really, truly is this hybrid of emotion where you can be completely exhausted, sleep-deprived, hungry, your muscles ache, you haven't showered in a couple days, your husband is coming home late from a meeting and you've almost reached your limit...and then your baby will stop crying look up at you and give you the biggest tooth-less grin you've ever seen. Or, after you sneeze, your two year old will say "Bless You, Mama" and you're right back to that place where all is right with the world. That's all it takes to put things into perspective whether I'm struggling at-home with a personal challenge or something happening in my professional life. My kids, my family are my priority and what truly matters...and the fact that I can become centered and get back to that place of gratitude gets me through...

Chase, my little spit-fire of a son! He truly helps me keep my focus on what matters...

Colby with his bright baby blues--he's truly a joy!

I am grateful for Chase and Colby, that they are growing well and are healthy even though we have had some scary moments to get through with Chase... I am grateful for my husband, Scott, and his kind, sweet heart and all he does and is for our family.  I am grateful for my parents, my mom who taught me to be independent and to care for others and my dad who has always been so strong and courageous and I know and believe that now more than ever. My brother and sister who although I don't see them every day, I know they always have my back and love me unconditionally.

Scott & me Christmas 2005 before we were married...

My parents at Point No Point when they were visiting for Chase's 1st B-day

My sister, Jeanette, who we now refer to as Aunt JJ and brother, Matt, who is of course now, Uncle Matt :-)

I am also grateful for so many other people in my life, my other family members, grandparents and my in-laws are wonderful, and my friends, old and new ones. To quote a line from Santa in The Polar Express, "There is no greater gift than friendship," and I truly believe that... I am grateful for my health. Although my recovery after having Colby hasn't been a piece of cake like with Chase, the weight seems to be coming off a little faster so I guess that's a silver lining :-) I'm grateful for having a warm place to live, food to eat and clean water to drink. I'm grateful for my community, the one in which I live and where I work, and the people that have come into my life from both... I am grateful for the country in which I live despite all the craziness with politics and battles between the left and the right. We are safe and can go to bed at night without fear because of all the men and women who risk their lives for us every day. I thank each and every one of them but first and foremost, my brother, who was among those shipped overseas to the middle east for a tour of duty and returned home safely. And for that, I am truly grateful. 


For these and so many other things, I am grateful. I am grateful for this moment, for the sun to be shining outside my window, for Colby sleeping and Chase playing right next to me all by himself. I know with all this to be grateful for all the other stuff is just details...

"Blogging" really not my thing but...

... I thought I would give it a try. I'm not sure if anyone will really be interested or want to follow all that I have going on in world or in my head -- except for my mom -- but it will be therapeutic for me anyway... I've really never been one to keep up with a journal or to write about myself so this will be a learning experience for me.  


A journal for me often turns into a "To Do" list or something that is added to my plate to accomplish which ultimately stresses me out... and these days my goal is to keep it simple, keep it real.  As with many women, we can probably all agree that being a woman or thinking of ourselves as accomplished or successful is often defined by how many balls we have in the air...  why is that? 

Anyway, my hope for this blog is to be able to get out of my head every once in awhile, put into words what I've been feeling or experiencing lately, create a dialog possibly with friends and family I don't see everyday a little different from facebook... which seems to have become my means to share the latest news or photos of Chase and Colby, which is great just not what I hope this will become.  Although, I'm sure I will often post about them and share photos, too as they are my life, my world... 


So, in the spirit of keeping it simple and real... I'll end this post not because I don't have more to write or say but because my almost 3 year old has to go potty --- and as anyone out there knows who has ever potty trained a child, when they say they have to go and go running down the hall to the bathroom, you stop whatever you're doing and go, too!  

Kalaloch, WA -- Memorial Day Wkd 2009